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Discover the 90/10 secret: it will change your life

Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.

But it can all be very different. Understand the 90/10 secret, and it will change your life! And the rule is...

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. You determine the outcome by your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your response to it.

Let's use an example.

You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

Reaction one

You curse. You scold your daughter for knocking the coffee. She starts to cry. You turn to your partner with a criticism about leaving the cup too close to the edge of the table. A verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs you find your daughter is still upset and hasn't finished breakfast. As a result she misses the bus. Your spouse says it's your problem and promptly leaves for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 50 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute school run and a speeding fine, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.

Your day has started badly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.


A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the speeding ticket cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. But how you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Reaction two

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You say: "It's OK, just be more careful next time". After grabbing a clean shirt and your briefcase, you come back down to see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive on time and cheerfully greet the staff.

Your boss comments on what a good day you are having.

Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret.

If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure sky-rocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let that car ruin your drive. Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it!
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

You now know the 90/10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.

Remember the song "Don't worry, be happy!" Adopt this as your phrase for today and have a worry-free life!

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. 

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now.

If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with. And remember that time waits for no one. 

So, stop waiting ...
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer.
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until autumn.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. 
So work like you don't need money,
love like you've never been hurt,
and, dance like no one's watching.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  As we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!
From A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson used by Nelson Mandela at his inauguration as president of South Africa in 1994. 

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt

A wise man was walking along the beach as the tide was going out. He came across a younger man, bending down to shoreline, picking up small objects and throwing them into the ocean.
The wise man said: "Good morning! May I ask what you are doing?"
The young man replied: "Throwing starfish into the ocean. The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."
Upon hearing this, the wise man exlaimed: "But there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile. You can't possibly make a difference!"
The young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. 
As it met the water, he turned to the wise man, smiled and said: "It made a difference for that one.

Believe that you will succeed, believe it firmly, and you will then do what is necessary to bring success about
Dale Carnegie

Your difficulty is not contained, primarily, in the situation which gave rise to it, but in the mental state with which you regard that situation and which you bring to bear upon it.
Byways of Blessedness

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.

The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination
Tommy Lasorda

Everyone has a purpose in life....a unique gift or a special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstacy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals
Dr Deepak Chopra

Always do your best. What you plan now, you will harvest later 
O G Mandino

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall

Your legacy should be that you made it better than when you you got it
Lee Iacocca

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear
Mark Twain

For the resolute and determined there is time and oppurtunity
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Procrastination is opportunity's natural assasin
Victor Kiam

Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you don’t set any condition
Arthur Rubinstein

If you care enough for a result, you will almost certainly attain it
William James

The best portion of a good man's life - his little nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love
William Wordsworth

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity
Albert Einstein

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up
Mark Twain

Desire creates the power
Raymond Holliwell

Success has always been easy to measure. It is the distance between one's origins and one's final achievements
Michael Korda

Comedy breaks down walls
Goldie Hawn

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it
Leo Rosten

The only limits to our realisation of tomorrow will be our doubts of today
Franklin D Roosevelt

Silent and Listen are spelt with the same letters

True happiness can be sought, thought or caught - but never bought      

One man with courage is a majority
Andrew Jackson

A man's dreams are an index to his greatness
Zadok Rabinowitz

If you want a place in the sun you’ve got to put up with a few blisters
Abigail Van Buren

He who laughs, lasts

Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live

The intensity of your desire governs the power with which the force is directed
John McDonald

Money doesn’t grow on trees and if it did, someone else would own the orchard
Lewis Grizzard

Everything is within walking distance if you have the time
Steven Wright

There is no security - only opportunity
Mark Twain

Become the change you seek in the world
Mahatma Gandhi

We are not creatures of circumstance; we are creators of circumstance.
Benjamin Disraeli

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
Heller Keller

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves                                  Sir Edmund Hillary first to summit Everest